yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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