you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
