sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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