it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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