Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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