Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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