remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
