Im at strip club and am horny
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
