I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Buhtt sex?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
