So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
