An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize