why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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