I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
