you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
