White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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