You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize