just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The feeling are messing with the penis
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
