I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Randomize
