Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
