The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize