I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
