It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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