I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We need a shit load of segways right now
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize