dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize