At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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