This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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