Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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