so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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