FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
