Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
