So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
