found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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