the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
