Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
