Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize