My room smells like vodka and shame
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
