Got a toothbrush?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize