i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
