In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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