so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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