he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
