The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
