i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We are all done wearing pants today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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