Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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