You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
