He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
