Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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