I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if only i could text you this smell
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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