You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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