it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
