i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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