508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
