I must be too annoying 4 u.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
