Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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